Three Top Tips for Living the Best Life

When I talk about living the best life, I'm talking about the best life for each individual that naturally contributes the best to the whole. I'm pretty sure we're almost all in agreement now that we are all in this together, that we're all actually intimately intertwined in the one great magnificent whole; that our thoughts, word and actions have flow on effects that impact more than just our own personal lives. And I hope that we're all in agreement that unless we're considering what's best for the health of our environment, our blessed home planet, we're not really going to be doing the best for any single one of us.

Tip 1. Be Grateful

Being grateful, or practicing gratitude, has all kinds of beneficial impacts. Within an individual human, the practice of being grateful has been shown to do all kinds of good stuff including triggering the happy hormones serotonin and dopamine, reducing stress, anxiety and depression, improving sleep and reducing pain. The practice of being grateful changes our neural structures, supporting us to feel happier. It also supports us having the experience of being "in the now".

When we're being, or feeling, grateful, we're focusing on what we have, rather than what we don't have. This makes me think of a synonym for gratitude, which is appreciation. And appreciation also means the growth of something's worth. Gratitude or being grateful works just like this. When we're grateful for something, it's value grows within our experience of it. The manifestation school of thinkers suggests that our focus on being grateful for what we have will support us to manifest more of what we desire. It certainly helps to shift us out of a lack mindset instantaneously.

It can be really supportive to recall how some of the worst things that have happened to us helped us to grow in strength and character in ways that we would not have otherwise and to be grateful for those experiences. Being able to be grateful for life's trials and tribulations and the valuable lessons, life skills and traits we gain from them will shore us up to face any future ones with grace and courage.

As well as all this good stuff that happens to an individual who's being grateful, there's a whole other category of good stuff that happens when we express our gratitude to others.

The expression of gratitude is a surefire way of strengthening social bonds, whether these be in the intimate relationship, in the family, in the workplace or just out and about while you're doing the shopping, having a meal or travelling on a plane or public transport. Giving and receiving an expression of gratitude helps to trigger those happy hormones, as mentioned above.

We all know we like to feel appreciated. It feels good when someone thanks us for our efforts, help, assistance, hard work or even for a small thoughtful gesture. When we are conscious of this and make the effort to express our gratitude to those around us, we support the generation of good feelings that have a ripple effect in our social environments.

Workplaces with an ethic of consciously and deliberately being grateful for the efforts of staff will not only enjoy greater creativity and productivity, they will also be places of positive group dynamics, constructive and cooperative communication, and, when problems arise, solutions will be more readily found.

When we focus on the positive aspects of our partners or family members, we will naturally have a more positive relationship. When we express our gratitude for what they do for us, the bond becomes stronger. There is not likely a stronger glue in relationships than simply being grateful for the other person just being who they are and being in your life and expressing this gratitude.

So, some really simple ways to practice being grateful are:

• Take some time each day to think about what you're grateful for. You might choose to do this at a particular time each day, like while you're having your morning cuppa, while you're out walking the dog, or when you're going about your daily ablutions. It may be more of a spontaneous thing for you, you may like to play a game of noticing things that you're grateful for as you move about your day.

• Start a gratitude journal and take some time each day to write down at least three things, or as many as ten, that you're grateful for, really feeling your gratitude for each one.

You will start to find with the above practices that the number of things we have to be grateful for in life is one that just seems to keep growing!

• When someone (anyone, anywhere) does something for you, no matter how great or small, remember to say thank you.

• Thank your loved ones for being who they are and for being in your life.

• Think about the things you are particularly grateful for in your partner, your family members, your friends and your colleagues and be sure to let them know what those things are and that you're grateful for them.

Tip 2. Be Considerate

To be considerate is to think about the impacts and consequences of our words and actions. Ideally, we're going to be considerate of ourselves as well as of others. To be considerate basically means to be carefully thoughtful (as opposed to all of the random, spontaneous and not always necessarily helpful thinking that goes on in a lot of minds a lot of the time). We could look at it as being deliberately conscious of considering our own feelings, needs and desires as well as those of others and to acknowledge that they are all equally important in the great scheme of things. And then, after consideration, to act in accordance with what will produce the best possible outcome for all involved.

It's helpful to acknowledge that for all our apparent differences, we humans are all very much the same in our essentials. A definition from the Oxford Dictionary, which has considerate meaning "careful not to inconvenience or harm others" is another helpful way of looking at it. We can all relate to not wanting to be inconvenienced or harmed. Inconveniences are inevitable in life, however deliberately causing inconvenience is an anti-social act that should be avoided wherever possible. To cause deliberate harm to ourselves or another should most definitely be avoided at all costs. So often, rather than resulting from a deliberate action, harm results from thoughtlessness, or, in other words, a lack of consideration.

Being considerate can be considerably more challenging when our minds are preoccupied with a whole bunch of other stuff that clogs up the consideration pathways. So a great way to lay the foundations for a greater capacity to be considerate is to engage in practices that help to keep these pathways clear, practices like meditation and mindfulness exercises. These practices come with a whole host of benefits, discussed in detail elsewhere. You might already have your own favourite activity that helps to 'clear your mind', like going for a run or a swim, or doing some painting or perhaps going fishing, just to name a few examples.

When your mind's clogged up with a bunch of real-life problems, it can be really helpful to write them down on some paper and tackle them one at a time, seeking help from friends, family or professionals, as is appropriate. Sometimes even the simple act of writing your worries down can diminish them and make each of them appear a lot more manageable or solutionable.

With all of the crazy shit going down in the world today (or not, because it seems that the line between real news and fake news gets finer every day) and a ridiculous degree of overexposure to different forms of media all over the place, there's an awful lot of stuff clogging up the consideration pathways. In short, there's so much we can watch, read, see and listen to that we've lost sight of what's really important - caring for and being considerate of each other and of ourselves; thinking about and doing our bit to support ourselves and one another to live the healthiest and most contented lives that we can.

So a tactic to enhance your capacity for consideration is to restrict your exposure to all forms of media to a moderate diet (taking what you find there with a grain of salt) and supplement with plenty of time with your loved ones, time in nature and time engaged in creative endeavours.

Which brings us to...

Tip 3 Be Connected

Connection is at the very core of human existence and an essential aspect of our wellbeing.

Being connected with our fellow beings is foundational to living the Best Life. In particular, having strong, supportive, positive connections with our family and friends and with our life partner, if we have one.

Experiencing and enjoying the benefits of these connections requires our commitment and dedication. Life seems to be throwing up more and more distractions from this basic and essential connection, so it's up to us to ensure we make the time for quality connection with our loved ones. Quality time means being really present with each other, free from distractions.

The constant pinging of phones is a pretty common distraction these days but it is only on very rare occasions that the ping is going to be offering you something that is more important than the quality connection with your beloveds. So put your phone or other device aside, knowing that you can come back to whatever it's got for you to address another time.

Earlier, I mentioned the distractions of life trials and tribulations. Engaging in quality time with your loved ones can provide a valuable opportunity to talk about what's going on for you. To get stuff off your chest in the supportive presence of those who love you. To get alternative perspectives and ideas to resolve or alleviate your concerns. Sometimes, there's even an opportunity to see the lighter side and to have a laugh about things. The value of this is not to be underestimated.

With a whole lot of stuff on social media projecting illusions that everyone else's lives are amazing and wonderful and full of only great stuff, it can be challenging to share the truths of our not-so-great stuff. It's actually a gift to share this stuff with others, not only to get the benefits mentioned above but also to dispel those illusions and support and encourage others to reach out and share as well.

Of course, quality time with loved ones is about sharing the good stuff we've got going on as well. These relationships are a blessed space in which to support, encourage and bolster each other in many ways, as well as to celebrate life's great and small wins.

The experience of disconnection with family members, intimate partners or friends, particularly when it stems from unresolved issues or arguments, can be a source of distress and disease in our lives. The good news is that in most cases where we have a strong desire to mend the source of the disconnection, the opportunity is always available. Honest communication that reveals our perspectives and vulnerabilities has great power to mend all kinds of ills. If you feel like this is not your forte or you're not sure how to go about it, support is always available.

Experiencing positive connections with our broader community enriches our lives too. Aside from the simple things mentioned above where we looked at being grateful for and considerate of others, positive connection with our community can be experienced and enhanced in other ways. Volunteering your time to community groups of any kind is a great way to enrich your own life and the lives of others simultaneously. If you are feeling a want of positive human connection in your life, it's well worth investigating what groups or organisations exist in your local area and getting in touch to see how you might be of service. You might even perceive a need in your community that isn't being met and start your own group to address this need.

There are other kinds of connection that can greatly enhance our quality of life. Let's have a look at a few of them in brief.

Connection with nature brings with it untold gifts. When we allow ourselves to be present with the sounds, sights, smells, feels and rhythms of nature, we open ourselves up to receiving a host of benefits to physical and mental wellbeing that are, well, natural. We don't have to do anything other than allow ourselves to be present with the natural life that's going on around us all the time. Observations of the happenings in the realms of nature provide countless insights and metaphors that support our human existence, merely by being open to them.

Connection with our passion(s) is hugely beneficial to our overall wellbeing. For some, their passion may be a creative pursuit. There is so much that can be said about the benefits of creative expression but we'll leave that for later. For others, their passion may be a hobby that brings them peace, joy, satisfaction and contentment. Others may be passionate about their career, gaining way more than financial benefit from their workday endeavours. For others, their passion may be working to resolve social or environmental issues. Others yet may be passionate about a particular sport or recreational activity. This list could go on but generally speaking, a passion is something we are super enthusiastic about and have a great love and drive for.

Connection with our purpose can bring direction and contentment to our lives. This can be a tricky one because sometimes there can be confusion around what our purpose should be. Here's the thing - there's no should be. Life purpose is different things to different people and absolutely does not have to be anything grand. As we're all a little bit different, it makes sense that our purpose is appropriate to our personality. Sometimes we don't know what it is but we're living it anyway. Somewhere at the essence of each purpose there lies the desire to make life better, even in the smallest way.

Connection with the Divine

There are so many different names for All That Is, Was and Ever will Be that I will not attempt to list them here. Of course, there are those who believe in no such infinite force and source of all creation. However, there are plenty more who do and they benefit greatly from their belief in and connection with it. While meditation and prayer are popular and effective means of experiencing this connection, engaging in any of the ways of connecting listed above support our connection to the Whole.

As mentioned in the very beginning of this article, we're pretty much all in agreement now that we're all in this together, whichever way we perceive or believe that to be. By being grateful, being considerate and being connected, we have an opportunity to improve our own quality of life at the same time as making a positive contribution to the quality of all of life.